February 6, 2012

My brain is super fried. It involves pain to look inside.

A few weeks ago, I found an old online journal of mine. Kind of like a precursor to this here blog.

Except way crazier.

Seriously, I was reading through the entries and my jaw just kept getting closer and closer to the ground. Granted, it was written between the ages of 13 and 15, and I'm pretty sure all adolescent girls are at least a tiny bit insane.

But, woah. Honestly, it kind of freaked me out.

I was battling some things when a lot of it was written and its so apparent- I was really struggling and reached out to people online because I felt really alone. But the thing that really struck me was that I wasn't reaching out for help-I just wanted them to feel sorry for me. No uplifting, no encouragement-just sympathy. And that's exactly what they did-they didn't try to help, they just commiserated. It was really depressing to read.

I couldn't help comparing it to my blog now- and thus, my life. If you would have told me this would be my life at 24, I really would have thought you were out of your mind. But I'm so grateful that my life has followed a plan besides my own. I'm so grateful that I have this blog to document everything. And I'm so grateful for all of you ladies who are so supportive and encouraging and sweet and wonderful.

The people I interacted with on the old "blog" weren't friends. But you guys are-so thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

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