January 14, 2010

Her hair was raven and her heart was like a tomb

The knot in the pit of my stomach grows.
And grows.
And grows.

The tears flood my eyes and again, I push them back.

I am falling back into fear.
Fear that you don't feel the same way.
Fear that I'll be along again.
Fear that I'm going to fail.

I want you so bad, I can taste it, feel it, see it.
It seems to be just outside my grasp, but as I move toward it, it moves away.

I have to bite my lips till I bleed to keep my self from screaming
"I love you"

Am I supposed to? Is it real?
Do I care?

I want to yell from the rooftops, to write our initials with little hearts on every tree and piece of paper and in the snow.

But I'm scared. So I keep this secret deep inside.
Hoping that you say it first.

And when,
if,
you do,
I will too.
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