I'm still pretty excited about moving, but if I'm being 100% real right now, I'm nervous too. I'm nervous to be on my own, I'm nervous about the bills, I'm nervous about what it will look like. Even though I'm excited for all the same things, it's still a pretty big change that will obvioiusly take some adjusting. Even the actual act of packing and moving is stressful right now, and I know that when I'm finally in my new place, it will all be worth it, but for right now, I'm a little nervous.
On top of that my current roommate is not making this easy, so I'm uncomfortable even being in my current place long enough to pack. I think I'm just gonna grab a Coke (or five) and power through it tonight and hopefully get most of it done and bring it over to my parents to stay there until I actually move. I'm calling my new land lord tomorrow to see if there is any way I can move this week instead of next, and my wonderful friend and parents and brother have all volunteered their services to help me move. I am so so so
Even though all of that is stressful on it's own, there's more, because one stressful situation is never enough, right!?!?! I went to the doctor on Friday, fully expecting to have my blood drawn and for the end result to be a gluten intolerance/celiac diagnosis. Which could still be on it's way, but there's some other issues that my doctor is worried about which will involve me getting some more tests and an outpatient procedure in the next week or two. I don't know if I've just got too much going on besides that to be worried (and I am worried), but I just feel like I should be more worried. Either way, some crossed fingers and prayers would definitely be appreciated right now.
Which brings me to my last point, I've been struggling with feeling disconnected from God. I know he's still there and I still go through the motions of praying because I know this is only a blip in our relationship, but it's frustrating. Usually, I'm all about the gratitude and loving and feeling God's presence in my life (which I have another post about soon) but right now, I'm just feeling kind of blah.
The funny thing is I have enough faith to know that on the other side of this valley, my relationship will be strong and my faith will be more than renewed. But I don't want to have to go through it, I just want it now! Has anyone else ever felt like that? haha
I know it's all just temporary and I'm sure I'll feel infinitely better when the moving process is done, but right now, it's just kinda hard. And I feel like such a whiner writing about this or even thinking about it because in all reality, my life is amazing-more amazing than I could ever have thought, and I'm so incredibly blessed. But I guess "sometimes it's not all puppy dogs and rainbows", as a friend of mine told me.
I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes, right?