Put down your sword and crown. Come lay with me on the ground.

First things first-I found a place to live! Yay! My aunt happened to know someone looking for a roommate, so I went and checked it out. I really wasn't planning on anything coming from it because I was pretty adamant about getting a one bed room and being on my own. But the place was just so cute and the girl was so sweet, I fell in love. It's a little 3 bedroom ranch over on the east side of town-fenced in yard, garage, cute little kitchen and basement. It's really adorable. Plus, she's letting me paint which is pretty awesome. So I'm moving middle of August, luckily most of my stuff is still in boxes :-P

I want to have an "adult" bedroom. No more of this college-dorm room-nothing matches BS. I have a comforter set that I really like-it's kind of Indian themed with a henna pattern in like burnt orange and gold-ish colors so I think I'm going to get some shade of yellow to put on the wall. I got some shelves and a H-U-G-E mirror that are all in a really deep browns...so that's what I'm going with. Hopefully it'll all come together!

I went on a little shopping spree last week-oops! But how could I not when Old Navy was having a crazy sale on jeans! I got three pairs for $7.50 each, plus a white trench coat for $12! Amazing!

Then, silly me went to DSW. And told myself I wasn't going to buy anything. Cause that's totally possible, right?

Apparently not.

They look kind of plain in the picture...in person they look a lot taller. I think they are like 5.5 inches...maybe even 6. But they only cost me $12. The little yellow stickers at DSW are my best friends.

Then on the way out the door, I see these.

With another pretty little yellow sticker, meaning these cost a whooping $9.

I swoop them up, and literally run out of the door before I can buy more shoes.

Unfortunately, that only lasted about 24 hours, until I went back and bought them in brown too :-)

I did buy some stuff for my new place, which I am rationalizing as "investments". New shoe organizer, some shelves, etc. But I'm really loving the wall decals I grabbed from Jo-Ann Fabrics.

This is one of them (Not exactly, but same basic idea).
The kit I got came with the chandelier and some butterflies to put around it, which are cute, but wouldn't really go with everything else in the room. So I bought some cute little birds with a metallic damask print, which is my absolute fave. I'm pretty stoked to put it all together!

Also, I made a little pit stop a little shop we have around here.


You've never heard of it, have you?
Nah, didn't think so :-)

Every time I go in there I see all these super cool light fixtures and I always want them but never get them. Well, I found one in the As-is section (i.e. clearance) and had to buy it.

It looks kinda weird here, but it's a wreath basically, with little LED lights. And the one I bought is black. I can't wait to put it over my bed.

They also had these super long (I'm talking like 8 ft.) mirrors in there. 2 for $10. I didn't get them but I'm seriously kicking myself about it. Me and my mom are supposed to go shopping this week, so hopefully they are still there. I don't really know what I'd do with them...but I want them haha

My dad has a second interview this week so *cross your fingers*. Other than that, I'm dreading going back to school. Tomorrow is August 1st... Um WHAT! Where did my summer go?!?

Now does anyone know the name Gabriel Prosser? My conscience says he's the one that history missed.

Went on a first date earlier this week. Blah-I dislike first dates, especially ones like this. He seemed really sweet and nice and I was even over looking the fact that he was young (not young exactly, but my age, which is young for me). He was late...And not just five minutes late. No, late by like almost 40 minutes late. And we went to Qdoba, which, while delicious, isn't exactly first date material in my book. On top of that, he didn't even offer to pay! I would have actually overlooked all of that, but I wasn't really attracted to him (too short :-/ ), so it was kind of an all around bust. C'est le vie, right?

After we got done, I had some time to kill before meeting up with one my friends so I went to my favorite store, AKA Target. And just what do I find but these beauties...

I LOVE THEM!

I needed a new pair of wedges and for $13, I couldn't say no! Plus they are like 4.5 inches, and I love me some (artificial) height.

So then I walk into work the next morning to a nice little surprise on my desk.

What's that you say? You don't see anything special about this plain black shoe box? Well don't they always say "It's what's on the inside that counts?"

Well it's totally true!

GAH! How effing cute are those! A woman I work with brought them in for me because they didn't fit her. So she gave them to me. For free. Um...these shoes cost $400 (I only know that because the price tag is still on them!) I have no idea what I'm going to wear them with, but trust and believe I will find something and it will be FABULOUS!

Been apartment hunting a little bit this week, to no avail. I'm putting a halt on it for a week or so, so that I can settle down and relax and let things happen, instead of me getting all controlling and messing things up.

The concert on Thursday was amazing. Although my ears just stopped ringing yesterday and my body is still a little sore from the pit-I'm getting old ya'll! (Yes, I totally just said that and I'm only 22-kill me now lol) Tim Barry and The Whigs were the opening acts, both of which were pretty sweet. Hoping they come back to town soon-would love to see any/all of them again.

She said if heaven's hypothetical, and if the cigs keep you warm, Then how's she supposed to think about how it's gonna move in the morning?

The ex and I were supposed to take a mini-vacation this coming weekend that is, obviously, not happening any more. And, actually, I wasn't all that upset because if we had gone on the vacation, I'd be missing these guys in concert.

They're called The Gaslight Anthem and they are kind rockabilly/punk/rock with a little hint of Springsteen thrown in for good measure. (I'm not sure if you can tell, but the one all the way on the left, the bassist...is gorgeous. The last time I saw them, I was front row...right in front of him. For almost three hours. I almost died I was so happy. Mmmm...yummy)

So due to the canceled trip, I'm able to go the concert I've been dieing to go to, which is pretty awesome, and I've been literally begging everyone I know to go with me, because it's in downtown Detroit and my parents don't want me going alone (understandably, I suppose). I'm even buying who ever ends up coming with me their ticket. I'm like, for reals desperate.

So today, I'm minding my own business, checking out tickets and what do I see? A new band has been added to the line up. But not just anybody...oh no.. it's these guys...

The Hold Steady!!!! AHHH!!! I've been dieing to see them live for years, but they always seem to pass by Detroit when they tour. Not nearly as swoon-worthy, but the lead singers voice is to. die. for. I love their lyrics. Drinking, drugs and this lovely juxtaposition of anger/reverence towards Catholicism.

"I've had kisses that made Judas seem sincere"
Think about that one for a minute.

Or maybe...

"They say you don't have a problem

until you start to do it alone.

They say you don't have a problem

until you start bringing it home.

They say you don't have a problem

until you start sleeping alone."

Um...that's my life. In that song.

So things are looking up, I guess. I'm seeing a few apartments this week. Not really expecting anything to come from it, but it's kind of fun to look :-)

Also, I got tickets to see the Tigers on August 6th. Now, I just need to find a cute guy to bring with me hehe

Could you read my fortune in the bottom of this coffee cup, tell me how to tell when I've had enough?

A lot can happen in a day, let alone a year.

My mom used to tell me that all the time, when I'd be worried about god-knows-what and planning for the certain doom that I was convinced would be happening.

But now, I think I'm finally coming to fully understand what exactly she meant.

A month ago, I was in a (what I thought was) great relationship with a man I was in love with, I had my own place with a girl who I was pretty good friends with, and my family was stable-for the first time in a very long time, I had everything I could have wanted. I was indescribably happy.

Three weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me and absolutely broke my heart. My dad lost his job. My grandmother was hospitalized. And on top of all that, my health took a turn for the worst and I lost my hearing in one ear.

But I tried to have faith, and walk through all the fear. I through myself into work. I saw my friends pretty much every night. I reminded myself constantly that this was all temporary, and that God had a plan for everything, I just had to wait it out and He'll show me, when I'm ready.

But it's so freaking hard sometimes. Sometimes, I'm completely content and serene. But sometimes...I'm lonely, I'm anxious, I'm fearful.

And now, due to circumstances out of my control (kind of), I'm leaving my apartment and probably, unfortunately, losing my friend. All day I've been going back and forth between being pissed and being really upset.

I'm trying to see this as a fresh start-Thank god my parents live close and I can move back with them for a little while, get everything back on track. I just can't help but feeling like God put this amazing life in front of me and, whoops!, all of a sudden, pulled the rug out from under me. And the rational side of me knows that He gave me an amazing life, regardless of all of those things and it will only continue to get better and He will only continue to bless me if I continue on His path. I know these things, I believe them with all of my being and I have faith and I trust that what is waiting for me on the other side will be so much more amazing than anything I could imagine for myself. And I know that if I was that happy before, that when His plan comes together, it will be mind blowing.

But I don't want to wait. I want to be happy now. I want to be in love now. I want my dad to have a job and my grandma to be better and to have my own place and my health to be back on track now. I don't want to wait. It's this lovely little inner struggle-I think I'm ready for all these things, but really on He knows when I am and when He decides I am, he'll put all those blessings back in my life. He knows whats best for me-I don't. I've proven that left to my own devices, things don't usually end well-for me or anyone involved.

"We have to stop playing God. It didn't work" I've read that over and over and over again but I still like to toy with the idea that I'm in charge. I guess I just like to beat my head against the wall a few times before I realize it hurts.

And I've been beating myself up over all of this, as if every single problem is directly my fault...which is insane! I mean, I'm upset at myself...for being upset! What kind of sense does that make? I heard it described perfectly tonight- If your child fell down and hurt himself, would you scream at him? Belittle him? Make fun of him or yell? No, you would pick him up, hold him and comfort him. So why don't I do that to myself? Why do I yell at myself for making mistakes? Why don't I hug myself and seek comfort?

Well, I'm going to start. Even with all the fear, I know, know, know that God is giving me this opportunity to grow and find myself and learn.

It's just up to me to walk through the fear.